June 3, 2011
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What The Heck Sarah Palin is So Dr. Death
The title may seen confusing, but it’s a mash of the three things I though were hilarious on NBC Nightly News this evening:
What the Heck?
Apparently, last night an asteroid the size of a mobile home passed closer to the Earth than the moon is. Where the warning for that was, I have no idea. The space rock was named 2009 BD, known more appropriately as “What the Heck was That!?”
Sarah Palin is So…Stupid!
Ok, I know some fellow republicans think she’s awesome/hot, but I believe she is neither. I’ve always found her annoying, and she comes off strongly as a ditsy blond. They can’t even get my order at McDonald’s right, so I’d rather not have one of those running our country. Anyway, she’s been touring New England on a non-publicity publicity scheme (she says it’s not for publicity, but you should see her tour bus), and she decided to give a brief history lesson on Paul Revere. So here’s Sarah Palin’s version of the Midnight Rider Bell Righer and Shot Firer:
“He who warned, uh, the … the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringin’ those bells and, um, by makin’ sure that as he’s ridin’ his horse through town to send those warnin’ shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free … and we were gonna be armed.” read more here
Now hopefully you all know that’s not quite what happened. First, he didn’t warn the British, he was warning towns that the British were coming in the middle of the night. Secondly, there were no bells involved. There were lanterns lit, “one if by land, two if by sea.” Thirdly, he didn’t fire any warning shots. Again, no bells. And he did not stop to assure anyone of safety, freedom, or the bearing of arms. I really hope her history teacher is no longer teaching.
Dr. Death
Jack Kevorkian, AKA Dr. Death, died early this morning. He was known for assisting over 100 people commit suicide. He died of natural causes.
Please tell me you got the irony of that last one. Thanks for reading. Xeries coming soon, hopefully. Have a great weekend!
Comments (6)
The weird thing about that asteroid is that it would have most likely burnt up completely in Earth’s atmosphere and done zero damage. (Asteroids burn up in our atmosphere on a daily basis. Most of them are too small to be detected.)
Palin’s just a dolt.
And no one has ever deserved the title of Doctor Death more than Kevorkian.
I was surprised that Kevorkian died. I didn’t even know he was alive.
Huh. Dr. Death….interesting. Natural causes–that’s funny!
oh man I heard that Sarah Palin sound bite coming home this evening and had to pull off the road because I was laughing so hard.
This Palin chick is really flippin me out. Everytime she opens her mouth, that high pitch voice of hers makes my ears ring. I could only imagine as a leader of the free world, the effect she would have on other foreign leaders. I think they would look at her as a babe and try to date her and she, in a very political way, would wink back.
*clears throat* Look it up…she was actually RIGHT about Paul.