I’ve been an active Xangan for a while now. And in my time, I’ve seen many Xangans com and go, rise and fall, appear out of nowhere, then disappear just as fast. Yet through all that, I’ve still decided to stay. In the beginning, it wasn’t about popularity for me. I enjoyed my small crowd of readers, observing drama from afar, making fun of Xangalebs in a voice too small for most to hear. But then, I saw some members of our tight knit group get featured, and suddenly their “10 comments” posts turned into 70 or 80 comments easily, and I hardly saw them again, unless they were asking me to read their new post. “Tell me what you think. Oh, and you should rec it, too. It’ll probably be featured.” Yeah, sure. What are friends for. But then they, too, would get caught up in the drama (it’s inevitable) and it was too much for them, so they left, bitter with Xanga and all it’s members.

I decided I don’t want that to happen to me. See, for the past year, at least, I’ve been trying to get my name on the front page, my time in the spotlight. Most of my faithful readers will say I am a talented writer (here’s a fine example) and poet (this is my best poem, this one’s good, too, oh and I like this one!). Also, I’ve written posts with great insight, brilliant underlying themes, and I’m pretty open about my feelings. I know, those aren’t exactly qualifications for the famed Xangaleb status. But alot of my posts are witty, funny, and even supportive of other Xangans (like here and here). I’m also creative. I invented the game Dan Yahtzee, which is still being played to this day, and also the still not-so-known Xeries idea. Heck, I’m even TheTheologiansCafe’s study buddy (sorry, no link, but I’m sure he’ll testify to it’s truth) And yet, despite all that, my status here has barely changed. The only time I was ever on Top Blogs was an accident and I didn’t even see it. Yet I have seen people join xanga and a day later are a hit because they spout out foul language and posts celebrity cleavage.

And so, I believe my time has come. I’ve decided to leave before I get so caught up in the quest for fame, I lose sight of who I am and what is important. To my faithful readers (I dare not name them for fear of leaving someone out, but they know who they are), thank you for putting up with me and my shenanigans. Thanks to all who have encouraged me over the years. I hope my time here wasn’t wasted.

Stay cool and beautiful.

Goodbye.

APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!

Apparently, some of us have been getting a lot (I mean A LOT) of traffic for the Republic of Korea. I put up a pulse about it. I am confident they have consistently read everything I have posted on this site. Now I have dedicated at least 2 posts to some Xangans here, one of which barely visits. So, I figured I owed my most faithful reader some sort of recognition. So, here it is: A post just for you, Republic of Korea!

Sure, we’ve had our run ins with this dignified country, but all is well now! There’s even a treaty between us and them! Well, so what if it’s peaceful? You don’t have to travel to every peaceful country. Well, there are many reasons to visit such a wonderful country. HotelPlanner gives a few here. There are thousands of  Buddhist temples you could visit, for fun or religious purposes, many beautiful parks, and wonderful scenery. There are plenty of interesting towns and villages, and a rich culture.You could attend one of the many Spring Flower Festivals! I for one, am not a flower fan, but hey, I’m not gonna stop you. There’s even some place called Gyeongbokgung! Now who wouldn’t want to go to a place with a name like that? Except for maybe this guy. And this guy. And thousands of other Americans injured, or families of men and women killed, in the Korean War.

But, remember, there’s a treaty, so all is well! And you could get a flight from here to there for only $1,110! That’s only 1,249,719 South-Korean Won!!!

Even if you don’t care for scenery, there’s still one more reason to visit Korea: the crime rate there is on the rise, so you could join the swelling tide! You could easily get away with it too! The country’s security is too busy browsing a bunch of random blogging sites!

So pack your bags and board a 1,249,719 Won flight to The Republic of Korea! Because they are watching you!!!

The other day when I logged on, I was so close to having a heart attack. I had over 70 comments, with more than 2,000 views on my entry “I’m Scared.” I have never seen even close to that! I spent two hours answering comments. I think people who don’t know me that well thought I was like flipping out, wetting my pants scared about my future, and didn’t have any plans in place at all. That is not the case. I do have plans. It’s just that almost everyone I talk to doubts they’re the smartest plans, and it’s frustrating. Anyway, I was mostly venting. I have no idea how all those people came to my site, or why it got on the Top Blogs for the little it was, but I’m glad it did. I got 26 friends from it, and the encouragement was great.

I’m glad you guys like my writing. I never know if whatever I’m working on will turn out right, or the way I meant it too. Sometimes, it doesn’t, but it’s usually better that way. My last entry “Morning,” actually had two alternate endings. But I liked this one best.

Speaking of writing, I’ll be working on the next episode of the Xeries. I’m going to go over a few quick things about how I’ll be doing things. First, it might help if you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, go here .It’ll help, I promise. Now, for those who join, I will work you in when I can, but not every character will be in every story. From time to time, I’ll ask you questions that will help your character seem more like you, but ultimately, the character is still a creation of my imagination, so don’t get mad at me if it’s not what you pictured. Hopefully, this whole thing will turn out better than I expect.

Another important thing to note is I now have Xbox live. I’ve wanted it for a long time, and now it is mine! Mine, I tell you, MINE!!! MY gamertag is GoldnTigah in case any of you want to add me. =D

And I have strep throat, which sucks because I’m going to fall behind my personal schedule of finishing school early.

Oh, and as of Friday (the 11th) at 11:59 pm, I am officially an adult! Scary…

My prayers go out for those suffering in Japan.

Have a good day!

I’m tired. So very tired. How I long to dismount and collapse into the soft, green meadow on the side of the road. I’m sure my steed would enjoy that, too. But I won’t.

I can’t.

Something much stronger than Fatigue and Weariness combined drives me.

It drives me out of the safety and comfort of my castle. It drives me out from behind my status of nobility and forces me to take up the sword. It drives me past the borders of the only realm I’ve ever known. Drives me to a tall, unconquerable fortress where lurk creatures the likes of which I’ve never seen; to a battle, a final showdown, with a great evil, which will assuredly end in my death.

What force, what power, in the heavens or on earth, could drive a man to such extremes, besides insanity?

Love. Though as I’ve discovered, it is very close to insanity. In fact, they are one and the same.

The beautiful, lush meadow abruptly turns into a dreary and dead skeleton of a forest. It stinks of death. Crows loudly protest my arrival, cawing as they flutter from one dead branch to the next. Or perhaps they are warning me, pleading with me to turn back. Whichever, they do not impede my progress, and therefore are ignored.

Suddenly, the path curves. As I round the corner, I pull hard on the reins, stopping my obedient horse. There, rising from the dense fog surrounding it, looms the black, impenetrable fortress. My final destination. A chill racks my body as I scan the impressive castle; a large staircase leads up to the massive doors. Above that, the building rises three or four floors before diverging into an extremely tall tower. I cannot even see the top, either due to its height, or the fog. Perhaps both.

I dismount and loosely tie my horse to a nearby tree. Loosely, because I want him to be there if, by some miracle, I return. And also, I want him to be able to escape when I do not. I approach the staircase, and the massive iron doors open by themselves, bidding me to enter. I take a deep breath, and walk through.

I was…unsure of what I would find. I had imagined a horde of evil creatures only heard of in folklore attacking me, then if I had impossibly survived, I would have to climb for hours the winding staircase to the top of the tower, where I would battle the vile creature to the death, praying that as the demon was distracted, my love would have the chance to escape.

Instead, as I step over the threshold, I find myself in a large, sparsely furnished room, mostly white. On the other end of this room stands both the reasons of my coming here: in a steel, cylinder cage is the love of my life, her eyes now brimming with tears of fear and hope, and the evil, jealous duke who kidnapped her. He smiles menacingly. “You shouldn’t have come. You cannot fathom my power. I will destroy you!”

I summon my courage and draw my blade. “I did not come all this way to talk. Let us settle this now.”

He laughs. A bone-chilling, echoing laugh. “Fine,” he smiles,”have it your way.”

Suddenly, the room is filed with a bright light, and a tremendous roar shakes the ground. I peer through the light and see a growing shadow. Within seconds, where the evil duke once stood, a giant dragon now stands, its green scales shining, and it’s mouth glowing like the embers of a fire.

I wish I could tell you what happened then, but I myself do not know. Suddenly, I was leaping, slashing, dodging, ducking, and then…it was over. My blade was buried in the massive creature’s chest, which heaved no more. I rush to the cage a break the lock, releasing the lady I risked my life for. It would have been worth it. She falls into my arms unconscious, no doubt tired and weary from the horrors she must have endured. I carry her in my arms out of the building. When I walk outside, it’s like a curse was lifted: gone were the dead, rotting trees, the ominous fog, the stench of death. I found myself surrounded by a beautiful forest, full of vibrant life.  I mount my trusty steed, the love of my life, still fainted, seated in front of me, and begin my journey homeward. I start thinking about what life will be like, how happy (and safe) we will be together. Visions of me taking the place of my father when he has passed, chasing my young ones around the castle, my love smiling as she looks on. Everything would be perfect…

Suddenly, a tremendous noise shakes the entire earth. It is high-pitched, repetitive, and extremely annoying. I’ve heard it before! It’s not good! It threatens to take everything away! No! I must fight it. But, how do you fight something you are powerless to stop?

…

I open one eye. Then the other. Then I sigh and turn off the alarm. The feelings I still had from the dream, the joy, the excitement, the love, quickly dissipate. I am sorry, Dreams. I must go back to reality. But I will return again tonight. Perhaps we can pick up where we left off. Perhaps I can have the whole night to feel happiness, instead of the few, fleeting moments before I wake in the morning. And one day, I won’t need to wish for you to come, my cherished Dreams, to feel happy. One day, I will have it without you.

Until then, sometimes I wish I could live there, and dream about here, though here is hardly a dream. So…maybe I wouldn’t dream…

 But that poses an interesting question: Is it better to dream of happiness, presently having none but knowing one day you shall, or to finally have happiness, but never dream at all?

I am scared.

Why?

Because on Friday, at 11:58 pm, I will be 18 years old.

Because within 3 months, I will be a high school graduate.

Because in 6 months, I will be a college student.

Because in at least 4 years, I will be starting my lifelong career.

Because most likely, in 5-7 years, I will be married.

Because for the past 5 years, I’ve slowly lost most of my friends due to distance, character changes, or some combination of the two.

Because the people who believe we are friends have no real understanding of the word, and really couldn’t care less.

Because a year from now, I probably won’t even be in touch with the two or three people I actually consider my friends.

Because I now doubt the plans I was once so sure of thanks to the uncertainty of others and their lack of confidence in my ability to make decisions and discern God’s will for my life.

Because maybe those people are right.

Because my trust in people has greatly faded over the years thanks to ones I believed cared for me.

Because my entire life is quickly and drastically changing, and there’s nothing I can do to stop. To even slow it down.

And it scares the heck outta me.

As some of you may know, I am a bit of a poet. And as most of you know, I am a tad bit of a comic. Sometimes, I like to combine the two. Not necessarily poetry, but writing. (Like my Invention of the Century piece). And my English course requires me to do quite a bit of writing. Sometimes stories, sometimes ballads, sometimes poems. But I get tired of writing the expected response, and since my teacher doesn’t read the stuff anyway, from time to time, I spice it up a little.

In my English, we frequently have to do a “finish the story” thing: you know, they start a story, and you have to finish it, only they give you something you have to include. Well, the story was Matt was on his way to the grocery store, when a police officer pulled him over to warn him that his left rear brake light was out. Well, when he got home, his mother told him their neighbor, Mrs. Selfwill, had called, saying Matt had gotten pulled over, and she believed it was for speeding. That’s where I come in, to give Matt’s reply. Simple, right? Just say,”No Mom.” And move on, right? Wrong. Not this time.

So, keeping in mind the theme is “truthful,” and that I have to use metaphors, examples, and similes, I begin…

Matt shook his head in disbelief. Why Mrs. Selfwill assumed he was speeding, he had no idea. He began telling his mother what really happened.

“While I was on my way to the grocery store, I saw a man trying to steal an old lady’s purse, so I stopped to help. I opened my door and rushed at him like Troy Polamalu rushed Aaron Rogers, but before I got to him, he drew a gun on me as quick as Fast Draw McGraw. I thought my life was over like Lindsey Lohan’s career, when suddenly the old lady roundhouse kicks the guy in the face like that one time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked someone in the face so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying. Needless to say, the guy dropped like a wet sack of potatoes! She finished him off with a Pile Driver that Hulk Hogan would’ve admired! Then she jumped in the driver’s seat of my car and yelled,’Hop in, kid!’ So I did as I was told, and suddenly, I’m at the Daytona 500! Or that’s how it seemed, she was weaving in and out of traffic at top speed! As she drove, she informed me that the man that attacked her was a Russian spy trying to ‘eliminate’ her. When I asked why, she told me she was a secret agent, like James Bond! As she skillfully maneuvered our careening rocket between traffic, we realized we were being followed. So she reached into her purse, pulled out an Uzi, and handed it to me, telling me to scare them off. I’m not one to disobey my elders, so I rolled down my window and leaned out, firing at the black sedan following us. I felt like I was on one of those gangster movies! After a few turns, I managed to pop their front tire and we were able to shake them. Then, the car stopped, and we were right back where we started. The old lady clambered out and thanked me, then hobbled away down the street. I continued to the grocery store, but just before I got there, a police officer pulled me over and informed me my left rear brake light was out. I thanked him, got what I needed from the store, then came straight home. That’s all.”

“Hmmm,” Matt’s mother looked thoughtfully at him. “I wonder why Mrs. Selfwill would make up such a story…”

THE END

And to finish this post off, I leave with an original limerick:

There once was a fat man named Pete;
And all that he saw, he would eat.
But when a bomb he did see
He ate it hungrily.
And that was the end of poor Pete!

It’s morning. The sun has hardly been over the horizon, but I’ve already been awake for hours. I couldn’t sleep. Again. So I just got up and stayed up, replaying the facts of my most recent case over and over again in my mind, scanning every detail, making sure there’s nothing I’m missing. Silently, I reassure myself. Of course there’s nothing missing. I’ve come to the only logical, possible, and correct solution. As soon as I’m done with my morning walk, I’ll head over to my client’s house and inform them: case closed. From there, the local authorities will wrap it up. Then the only time I’ll have to worry about this case again is when the trial comes around.

I’ve only been at my office for a little over an hour, putting the final touches on the case report. By the way, I’m Aaron Tigah, private investigator. It even says that on the cliche, foggy-glass window of my office door. And in case you’re wondering, yes, sometimes I do turn off the lights, kick up my feet and narrate a case aloud. It’s calming, and makes me feel cool.

I’m young, especially for this job, but I’m smart. And I’m good. Not cocky, but smart enough to know that I am good at what I do. Out of dozens of cases, I’ve never let a single one go unsolved. Yes, I’m including the lame cheating partner cases in my list, but someone’s gotta catch them, too, y’know! Sometimes, even the police ask for my help. Doors are open to me that aren’t open to them.

I stand up and stretch, then shut off my computer. I leave a note on my secretary’s desk telling her to have my clients bill ready for when I get back. (I don’t accept payment until the case is closed. Noble, right? Well, you’d be surprised at how many people try to get out of it. People these days…) Then I step out the door into my side of the beautiful, exciting, complex city.

Xanga. What a name, right? It’s known by other names (Xangaville, Xangaland, Xangatropolis, etc), but that’s the root word for them all. We’re not too fancy of a town, and we certainly have our troubles. But it’s a good place to be, despite a few disagreeable characters that lurk around here. It’s been my home for about 4 and a half years now. It doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, it’s a long time.

My daily walk is nothing too big; just down Main Street past the local businesses (a barber, a diner, the grocery store, the hardware store, the McDonald’s, a comic book store, and a few other little places), then down First Street (where the residents of main interest all live), and back. I enjoy watching Xanga wake up. It’s quite a sight, and it helps me get into my groove for the day.

I pass the local businesses, some still dormant, others just now beginning to show signs of activity. Soon, I’m turning right down First Street.

The first house I see belongs to a good friend of mine, Sim, resident of almost 3 years. He’s a college student, so he can be pretty busy. But he’s always able to make time for his friends. If I’m having a hard time with a case, he’s the first person I go to (sorry, Mom.). I know, there’s the confidentiality agreement, but those are rather easy to sneak past.(Besides, they want their case solved, right?) Anyway, back to Sim. He’s great at reading people, y’ know, like one of those people where sometimes it’s as if he can read your mind. Which makes sense, since he’s a whiz in psychology. He loves helping people, and I’ve heard he’s quite the secret-holder, but the few times I’ve asked about it, he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about. Lately, he’s been acting a bit preoccupied, and I see him hanging around the comic book store alot, but it’s probably some class assignment.

The next house is where Nani lives. She’s been here for eight years now. I’m sure she’s inside snacking on some sunflower seeds reading the newest Anime, or else she’s drawing. Or working on a new book. She’s an author. I’ve read a few of her books, and she’s pretty good. I heard she’s been working on a nonfiction book, 1,001 Reasons Justin Beiber Should Die, or something like that. Someone was spreading a rumor about seeing her sneak out of her house one night dressed in all black with a mask and a sword, but it’s just a rumor.

Next to her is where the golden voiced Kami lives. She’s lived here for about 9 years. I can hear music coming from her house. It’s probably her playing the piano. She’s very talented at both singing and playing. She’s pretty athletic, too. She also does some occasional exterminating, but only when she’s angry. I guess she finds something about luring out ants and killing them soothing. But it could just be that she’s odd, after all, she doesn’t even like chocolate. Or clowns, but that’s understandable. Clowns are pretty creepy.

Just across the street is Gerilynn’s place. She’s a happy person who loves to read, but keeps busy since she’s a student. She’s been here for 6 years. When she’s not busy, her place is the best to go for two things: good company, and car trouble. The former because she loves to party, and she’s a pretty cool person. The latter because she knows her way around cars. Granted, she’s not a mechanic, but she’s just as good as our “real” one. And cheaper too!

As I near the end of the street, I see the colossal mansion of Ms. Aleksa Ivanov, the extremely wealthy businesswoman. I must admit I’m a bit suspicious of her. She’s rather young, which makes me wonder how she became so rich. And no one really knows much about her since she mostly just keeps to herself. Just that she moved here from Russia around 6 years ago, and she can speak just about any language but Klingon. But there’s definitely something almost sinister about her, holed up in that gigantic mansion of hers…

I make a u-turn and head back up the street. Just as I’m passing Nani’s house, I hear a high-pitched scream, and the house’s owner bursts out the door and drops to her knees on the porch, still screaming like the end of the world has begun. I rush up to her porch as neighbors begin opening doors and peeking through curtains to see what the matter was.
I kneel down next to her ask her gently what has happened. In reply, she looks up at me, the look on her face a mix of shock and horror, and sobs,”They’re…they’re GONE! They’ve been stolen!!!!”

And so begins another day in the city of Xanga.

 —————————————————————————————————————–

Writer/Creator/Aaron Tigah…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Like_A_Tigah

Sim……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Simbathe2nd

Nani…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Queen_of_You188

Kami…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….x3style

Gerilynn………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..broknheartshurt

Aleska Ivanov…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Cestovatelka

What is this?

I am over halfway through my school’s Physics course, and almost every time a new thing is brought up, there’s a fundamental law for it: the law of conservation of (energy, electrical charge, matter, etc,). For example, the Law of Conservation of Energy states that “Energy can neither be created, nor destroyed.” The Law of Conservation of Electrical Charge states “Electrical charge can be neither created nor destroyed.” Can anyone guess what the Law of Conservation of Matter states?

These are just generic names. Usually, the law is named after it’s creator.

So, I give you Tigah’s Law (The Law of Conservation of Impressions). “Impressions can be neither created nor destroyed.”

It sounds dumb, I know. But think about it. When you first meet someone, they don’t give you a brand new impression or list of describing words for them. You see them, and immediately, you place them in a category already provided for you by Hollywood, passed down by your parents, or generally accepted by the public. “Oh, they’re one of those people.” As you get to know them, they can change categories. They may seem like a nerd at first, then you realize they’re genius, then you discover they’re funny, too. So they shift around in different categories. Or maybe you’re not the categorizing kind. You still describe people with words (again, their meanings are already provided. A new person won’t give you a new word to describe them) They seem confident a first, then conceited, then a jerk. Or maybe crazy, then entertaining, then hilarious. you get what I’m saying (I hope).

Then there’s the second part; “nor destroyed.” The impression someone gives you will never be destroyed. It may be wrong, but it won’t go away. They can’t go back and change how they first affected you. What people do to you may be harsh, it may take years of therapy to cope with, but it won’t be destroyed.

“Well, that’s interesting, I get what you’re saying. Thanks, Tigah.” Well, hold on. Let’s take it a little deeper.

Again, dealing with the first part. Wouldn’t it be a shame to miss out on having the best friend of your life? It’s happened. Two completely compatible people have ended up enemies because one or both immediately categorized the other.  Maybe that’s happened to you. You meet someone who seems cool, but they don’t like you for some reason. I’ve been there. It sucks. But what about you? Do you give people enough time before you shove them in a marked box in your mind? Open up your mind a little. Wait before you assign people nametags. A closed mind hurts everyone.

Let’s swap out the word “impression” for a moment. It seems to deal with just the first time you see someone. Instead, let’s use the word ”affect.” Someone’s affect on you will never, ever be completely destroyed. What they do will affect your life forever. If someone calls you a name one time, it makes you sad, causing you to stay away from people for a few minutes. During that time, someone invites everyone around to a party. You weren’t there, so you don’t go to the party, and you never got the chance to meet that new person you now see hanging around. Or, someone calls you over to tell you a joke. While you’re near, someone invites everyone to a party later. You’ve got no plans, so you go, and meet this new person, who’s super cool. This is just a cheesy example, but things like that can happen every day. What people do and say affect your life in a big way, whether you realize it or not.

On the flip side, what you do and say affects people in a big way, too. Your little jokes about so-so can add up, causing them to be depressed, or quit that job/school. Or your compliment can cheer someone up, keeping them from sinking into a bad mood, which would affect people around them (kinda like the ripple effect).

So, according to Tigah’s Law, you should keep an open mind to avoid placing people in the wrong category; and watch what you say and do, because the impression you leave on someone, the first one and all others, will never be destroyed.

There’s this girl that goes to my church. I think she’s 13. She’s kinda awkward, but she’s been going there for awhile. She rides on my bus route, and she used to be one of my favorite kids. We gave each other a hard time, but all in fun. She was really touchy, so she would get angry or depressed pretty easily, but I could usually say something to get her to laugh or tell me what’s wrong, and I’d offer her advice.  It was encouraging knowing I was helping someone.

Something happened over the summer, and she stopped talking to me so much. Then she had to transfer to a different school, and she hates it there. I guess she’s having a hard time finding friends. But for some reason, she stopped talking to me altogether. I’d tried to talk to her, but she would either ignore me or give some short reply and go back to talking to someone else.

Now our bus is small. We only had nine. But it’s 8 girls, and all are LOUD. I was telling them to quiet down, but I wasn’t like hard on them or anything. Kids are kids. I was chatting with one of them, when the afore mentioned girl (Let’s call her Carla so I can avoid confusing pronouns) comes to my seat and says something along the lines of “Why do you have to add to the confusion? Isn’t it bad enough already?” I said something like “I’m just talkng. What’s with all this hostility lately?” She said, “I’m just reflecting back to people what they’ve given to me.” I was stunned. I asked what she was talking about, but she ignored me and returned to her seat. That hurt. I had no idea where it came from. Later, she got annoyed with two girls on the bus. I’d told them to simmer down, but they weren’t really listening. All they were doing was singing (The National Anthem). Carla again comes to my seat and tells me that I need to get control of my bus. That I’m not doing a good job. Then she told me she was going to tell our pastor’s wife that I wasn’t doing my job.

I love kids. I’ve given up my last 4 summers to work with them. (I got paid for two, but both times it was unexpected.) I’d gladly do it again. I have known this girl for around 5 years. Needless to say, that hurt. Bad. I felt like crying.

Life isn’t going so well recently.

[I needed to get that off my mind. I will post my intro story to the Xeries either tomorrow or Saturday. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here!]

I have seen Dinner for Shmucks like 3 times since it came out. I like movies, but there’s maybe 5 movies I’ve seen that many times in that amount of time. Only the first time was my choice, the other two, I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s good, but not watch it 3 times in two months good.

Anyway, towards the beginning of the movie, when the main character tries to tell his girlfriend of the dinner, she tells him that the man she knows wouldn’t do that, he goes on a rant about how there’s a him she doesn’t know that supports them, and if it wasn’t for that him, they wouldn’t have the things they do have.

And a different note I will link to that later on, I was watching Law & Order: SVU the other day, and in this episode, the suspect suffered from multiple personality disorder. She had 5 recorded personalities. One, named Burt, only came out at times of extreme stress, when the original person felt severely threaten. Burt allegedly murdered someone in an act of protecting the girl.

In the end, it was all bull. She read Sybil like it was the Bible, and she was just acting. But it got me thinking.

Sometimes, when I’m facing a problem, when something unexpected, sad, or maybe even scary pops up, I feel…different. Not like the normal me would imagine I should feel: panicky, nervous, or upset. Instead, I’m calm and collected. It’s like a me I don’t know takes over to protect me. To make sure I don’t flip out, or do something stupid. He’s systematical, logical, and very reassuring. When the me I do know is pacing in circles, worrying about what’s gonna happen,why this has happened, and what to do now; the me I don’t know calmly deals with the problem at hand, silently answering the questions, and informing me in his own way that everything will be okay, that this happened for a reason.

Sometimes I wish he was on call. When normal, day-to-day problems arise, I could just snap my fingers and he’ll show up and deal with it. But then I think, wait, I barely know the guy. He could be a murderer or something.

Well, I think there’s one of us we don’t know in all of us. That’s where the murderers, the rapists, the druglords, all the bad guys of the world come from. It’s not like they grow up wishing they could do the world harm. Somewhere along they way, the one they don’t know steps in for them. And they’re like whoa, where’d he come from? And they look up to him, not really knowing what he’s capable of. Like Santa Clause. And they put their trust in him. But that one we don’t know, he blurs the lines. And if he’s given too much slack; if he’s not watched closely enough, he’ll cross the lines the one you do know set up. He’ll justify it, tell you it was for your own good. And, because he’s an extension of you, because he’s helped you out so many times, you’ll believe him. After all, you owe him right? Then, before you know it, you two have switched places. He’s running your life, chatting with your friends, eating your twinkies; while your in limbo, waiting for the time he needs you to ensure loved ones you haven’t changed, and everything’s ok.

Sometimes, it’s nice to have the me I don’t know. He takes care of things for me. But he’s one evil dude, and I don’t trust him for one bit.

Be careful. There’s a you you don’t know. Don’t let him or her have too much control.