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  • My Misson: Part One (Based on a true story)

    It’s quiet. The sounds of firing had stopped. Where is everyone? Specifically, the team that’s supposed to be securing the F.L.A.G.? As I scanned floor below me for the up-teenth time, I realized time was disappearing, along with my team, and with the window of opportunity to win this war once and for all.

    Where am I? The balcony of an abandoned armory. I’m with my army unit, codename “The Boonies,” and our mission is to retrieve the F.L.A.G.(what it stood for, we weren’t told, but it is highly important that we succeed in this mission, lest this device falls into the wrong hands.) Resistance is high, as this building is currently occupied by our rival army, the Reds. We had just had two major battles, losing the first, but coming out on top with the second. But we could sense that this one was different; the stakes were higher. Leaving this building alive is not likely, yet failure is not an option.

    It was decided that I would head up the sniping team (since my recent foot injury hindered my speed.). We would keep the Reds from stealing the device by sniping anyone who came near from the balcony, while our second team would storm the main floor and secure the F.L.A.G., and then take it to the basement where a safe awaited it’s arrival. This safe would undoubtedly be heavily guarded, but we hoped some of these guards would abandon their posts in attempted the get the F.L.A.G. before we did. We had to get the F.L.A.G. there in ten minutes. Not a lot of time. But we had a plan.The plan wasn’t foolproof, but it was the best we could come up with on the short notice we had.

    I started out in the corner of the balcony, with four of my teammates in clear view, and more were hiding in the shadows, no doubt. I could hear gunfire in the hallways beneath me, but I never took my eyes off of the target. The main floor was open, but there were many barricades scattered across he floor, with broken walls and old pieces of machinery here and there, giving many places to hide. Then, I saw him. A Red made his way to the F.L.A.G. Now one thing you have to understand about the F.L.A.G.; it’s big, and heavy. You can’t move very fast with it. But the Red seized it’s handle and guided it behind a wall. He hadn’t seen us yet, but he was easy pickings for my team and I. He didn’t last long. Then another Red hurried across the room by the doorway on the other side of the building. I take aim, and fire. Headshot. He’s down and out for good. Another starts for the F.L.A.G., but a quick shot in his back sends him scurrying away. He never came back. I look up at the balcony: some of my team is missing. Where they went, I have no idea. Where the heck is that second team? I scare a few more Reds off, but the main floor is mostly empty. Now there’s only three of us. Time is wasting! We can’t wait any longer. “Hey,” I shout to the nearest team mate. “Go get the F.L.A.G., and I’ll cover you!” He disappears down the staircase. I wait, but he doesn’t appear in the room. I hear more shots, and still, no teammate. I glance at the stairs he had gone down just in time to see the barrel of a gun pointing at the only other teammate I can see up here. I quickly aim and fire: direct hit! The whole body falls into view, and my stomach drops: it was the teammate I’d sent after the F.L.A.G. Speechless, I curse my stupidity. No time to mourn or beat myself up though. I shout to my other team member; “You’ve got to get the F.L.A.G.! We’re running out of time!” He shouts back from his position kiddy-corner from me,”I can’t! There’s someone down ther-” His sentence is cut off by a bullet through his skull. His body goes limp and collapses to the floor. I locate the shooter and send him back to where he came from. Now it’s just me. I wait a few minutes, waiting for the other team to come, or other teammates to arrive and help, but no one comes. It’s just me. I glace at my watch: three minutes left. Uh-oh.

    To be continued…

  • Xanga Falls: 12.0 The Artifact

     

    Present Time,  MIB HQ…


    Now don’t get me wrong, I love my job. Being a top agent in the MIB Core is pretty hardcore. Especially since no one really knows my rank, so I can pretty much do whatever I want and not too many people ask questions. I have my limits, but usually I ignore them without too much consequence. Not that I’m a slacker. Far form it, I always get the job done. That’s probably why I have so much leniency. I’d definitely rather have my job than Bigshow’s; running around, cleaning up other people’s messes. He’s good at it, probably the best, it’s just not my cup of tea. Besides, “Agent L” sounds so much better than “B.S.” anyway.
    But right now is one of those rare times I really don’t like my job. Why? Because right now, I’m hiding in a cleaning closet at MIB HQ. Now why is a highly trained and capable secret agent hiding in a closet? Because on the other side of this door is the Oreo Queen (Imasilentheart), who just recently escaped from a high-security cell in the middle of the MIB HQ Lab, which now lay in ruins due to her releasing pent up frustration. She had captured one of my bosses, Josh (Galbsadi), the Minister of Business and Finance of Xanga Falls, Aaliyaan, and the Head of MIB Science and Technology, Edlives, along with several low class MIB techies. She was ranting about how they should’ve known this would happen, and nothing can stand in the way of love. Then she belted out “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” After a few minutes of that, she demanded to know the location of her estranged lover/butler/celebrity bodyguard/caveman/alien, maniacsicko. But her horrible singing had caused temporary deafness in the MIB workers, so they couldn’t understand her questioning, which was making her even more mad.
    Now you might be thinking the situation is impossible, unless of course, you know the project I’ve been working on for the past year and a half. I was deployed by the organization to study an artifact. An artifact so powerful, it could defeat the Oreo Queen…


    One year, six months, and three days ago, at Agent L’s secret residence…


    Riiiiing

    “Hello.”

    “Agent L. We’ve found something.”

    “I’ll be right there.”

    Click

    Score! That’s the longest conversation with the higher ups I’ve had in three months! It must be big! I drive to the HQ and walk into the office. Galbsadi, Vanedave, and BigShow were already there. They each nod as I walk in. “Agent L,” Galbsadi starts. “I assume you’ve been completely briefed, and know exactly what’s going on.” He looks at me. Bigshow and Vanedave, two of the best agents in MIB, stare at me questioningly. If I say no, I’ll look like an idiot. I gotta be suave, like James Bond, like I know everything already and they’re just wasting my time. So I say,”Of course.” “Good. We’ll be transporting you immediately. Good look, and let me know as soon as you know something certain.”
    And like that, I was in the middle of a desert. There’s a small lean-to constructed, with some high-tech looking junk, with one guy standing there. As I approach him, I notice a huge crater behind the man, with smoke pouring out of it. “Agent L!” the man calls. I hurry to him, and he begins spouting off stuff rapidly. ” I’ve already tested for radioactivity, but there are only very minute amounts, so it is perfectly safe. I’ve already set up a program to test the material to see if it can do what the organization has requested, but there are a few minor things I need your help in sorting out.” I stare at him, and he must have guessed I was lost. “Oh, forgive me. I’m Edlives, Head of MIB Science and Technology.” Well, I know his name. That helps. Kind of. Okay, I have to somehow get him to explain what’s going on, without him knowing I don’t know.
    “So, uh, Ed. What’s all that smoke from?”
    “The artifact, of course.”
    “Oh, right, right. The artifact. Yeah. That makes sense…because the artifact..is a smoker?”
    “…you have no idea what’s going on, do you?
    “Well…no.”
    “Ok, I’ll tell you what happened…”

    Eleven hours ago, the desert…

    “Ok, ok, I will…Yes, I promise. No, I’m not entirely sure what it is…yes, it is extremely vital…no, do not send a casserole…I will…I love you, too, Mom.”
    Just then, a ball of flame comes crashing from outer space, and slams into the surface at the exact location the MIB had deployed Edlives. He peeked into the crater, and there was a crystal mass.which sparkled with a hint of blue. Upon studying it further, Edlives discovered it was Oreoalite. He immediately contacted HQ.
    “This is Edlives. It’s arrived.”
    “Good, we’re sending Agent L. He will be completely briefed by the time he arrives, and you will not have to backtrack at all.”


    Twelve hours, twenty-two minutes later, same place…

    “…and now we are here to test it and see if we can use it against the Oreo Queen.”
    Ah. I’d heard of her. So this was a big mission.
    “Well, why is Oreoalite so important?”
    “It is the only element known to weaken the Oreo Queen, especially when mixed with lactose.”

    So as the days passed, we tested the Oreoalite, and each time, the tests proved that this could work. Every now and then, Bigshow would pop in to give us updates on the outside world, but Edlives and I continued working on the artifact until, finally, we were absolutely, positively sure, without any doubt at all, it could work. We just had one problem.
    “How could we use it on her?” Edlives asked me.
    “Hmmm…” I thought about it. And came up with a brilliant idea.
    “That is a brilliant idea!” Edlives told me. So I called Galbsadi and informed him of our success. He told me to return to HQ for some important meeting with the Board. Although I had no idea we even had a Board, I did. Just about every MIB agent above the rank of Peon was there. We were informed that FifthLMNT had attempted suicide and was currently in a coma, which cause somewhat of a ruckus seeing how Fifth didn’t seem too unhappy with his life. But we also were told that the Oreo Queen was detained, and we would be holding her prisoner at the HQ to prevent her from destroying the world in a jealous,love-driven rage.

    Present Time, MIB HQ

    Yeah. That worked well.
    So, if I have this powerful, fully tested and functional artifact, why am I still hiding in a closet?
    It’s in the trunk of my car. So I’m just waiting for the right opportunity to dash out there, grab it, and return to save my colleagues.
    Then, I hear it. That sound like a sick cat just got hit by a squeling firetruck who’s radio was blasting Justin Beiber while he nuetered himslef. She had started singing again. And chances are, she has her eyes closed. So as fast as I can, I dash out the door. Unnoticed! I get to my trunk, pop it, grab the backpack, and run back inside. After I stop by the kitchen, and resist a slice of cheesecake set aside as a “Get Well Soon” present for Fifth, I boldly waltz into the Lab, with a tray of double-stuffed Oreos, and a tall, blue-sparkly glass of milk.


    “Hello, Imasilentheart. Twelve months is a long time to go without Oreos. Would you like a snack?

     

    TAG IMASILENTHEART!

     

     

     

    Lost? Get caught up! At the Xanga Falls Overview HERE!

     

  • COMING SOON! Chapter 12

    I was in the middle of writting Xanga Falls 12.0 when time got away from me. I shall return late this evening and finish it for your viewing pleasure on the morrow. I hope you enjoy it!

    SPOILER ALERT!   I will be writing in edlives, as I noticed he was supposed to be written in on the former 12.0. If anyone else would like a part, let me know, and I’ll do my best.

  • Fanmail!

     

    It creeps some people out. Others, they get ticked. But me: I love it! What is it? Stalker mail!!!

    Although this is only my second, it still thrills my soul that some poor, lonely, idiotic bimbo feels that I’m worthy enough for her to waste her oh so valuable time on. Here’s the wonderful, uplifting message”

     

    Greetings, Like A Tigah!

    I am Angela )
    I really feel shy, but I`ve 2 tell you, that you`r just a man of my fantasies… It was a miracle to detect ur but nowadays I`m sure it is a fate!))
    U are wonderful… but I know for sure that in your life u`l impress me again and again ! :)

    I would like 2 keep up a friendship with you, Like_A_Tigah!
    This site censors and removes all my photos… :(
    so the most interesting and hot images I uploaded here:   blahblah.com
    Like_A_Tigah, I hope you will take a look at them and will send me smth to start our challenge :) )!!!
    love you honey :)

     

     

    Although it wasn’t quite as good as the first one (here), it was still touching. Thank you, Angela, for letting me know I am wonderful and detectable. Although I’m not the kind of guy you’re looking for, I would still like to know how to send a ”smth” to someone. And also, whoever told you that that “starting a challenge” sounds romantic or sensual, they lied. Go back to school, honey, then maybe you could find a job better than an internet whore.

     

     

    I know the announcement of me having a girlfriend has caused quite a ruckus, but I assure you this message has nothing to do with her.

  • Five Important Things

     

    I’m back.

     

    Happy 4th.

     

    I have a girlfriend.

     

    I’ll miss you, Dave.

     

    God bless America.

     

  • A Haitus

    My fellow Xangans, the time has come again which I shall be leaving you for a short while. Two weeks. Unless you say it like it’s half a month. Then it seems like a long time. But it won’t be. I don’t think. But it might seem like it. To you guys I mean. I’ll be having a blast. But you guys, yikes. What will you do without me for me so long? Anywho, I really will miss you all. If you post anything you wanted me to read, just user tag me, and I”ll read it when I return. I case you’re wondering where I’m going, it’s to a Christian training, where I will be learning Bible and missionary stories and songs, which I will then be teaching to kids at 5-day clubs this summer. The training is always amazingly awesome, and usually I don’t have much to miss anyway. (Not the case this year. But I’ll explain that when I get back.)

    Also, methinks I have something to confess. ‘Tis a post I rec’d and pulsed about a while ago about which I wasn’t very honest. (Go here)   It’s still one of the greatest posts I’ve ever read, but here’s the catch: It’s also one of the greatest posts I’ve ever written. Yep, I wrote it. I was hoping she would immediately desclaim said post, then I could deny writting it, and we could have a wee bit of fun going back and forth. But she’s a party pooper.

    Anyway, I must be going now. I still have to pack, and I leave in three hours. Goodbye, all! I’ll miss you almost as much as you miss me.     Xanga Falls will be one of my first posts when I get back.

    Bye!

  • Poetic Skill (Or Lack Thereof)

    Over the course of the school year, I am required to write some poems, or essays, or short stories, and even a 8 page research paper. So when I was collecting my things at the end of this year, I came across a few of these things, and thought I’d share them with you. So without further ado, a display of my poetic skill.

     

     

    In the months of winter,
    When snow is on the ground,
    And you can see nothing but white
    For miles all around;
    When the evenings are dark,
    And the days are far too cold;
    When the leaves have all fallen
    From their trees so old;
    After you’re tired of shoveling
    Week, after week, after week,
    And of blowing smoke
    Everytime you speak;
    When chilled to the bone
    At the end of the day,
    And longing for warmth
    In your bed, you lay:
    As you ever so slowly
    Succumb to sleep,
    To the months of summer
    Your mind mind does creep.
    Outside in the sun,
    You can run and play
    Instead of staying cooped up
    Trying to keep warm all day.
    With friends ’round a fire,
    Whose heat you can feel.
    Ah! This dream
    Seems almost too real!
    But suddenly you awaken
    To the world covered in snow,
    Wishing summer would hurry
    And winter would go.

     

     

    The Lord is my Shepherd;
    I shall not want.
    The Lord is my Shepherd,
    And I know that I ought
    To follow my Shepherd
    Where’er He leads.
    The Lord is my Shepherd
    He provides all my needs.

     

     

     

    Ode to the Potato Chips
    Many miles, I would gladly march
    To obtain a tasty form of this starch.
    For a genius had, many years ago,
    Accidently cu too thin a potato.
    He kept them, bakes them, and covered them in salt,
    And now, the famous potato chips are all his fault!
    They come in all shapes and sizes, almost any flavor.
    Sea salt a vinegar are the ones I most savor.
    And although many claim they’re bad for your health,
    You’ll always find potato chips sitting on my shelf!

     

     

    This next one isn’t a poem, but it was fun to write. (Obviously written in the fall.)

     

    As I walk down the street of my neighborhood one bisk autumn day, I realize time has passed faster than I thought. Gone are the days of summer, even though it’s fun and warm memories still linger. The sun’s warm rays are further away; days seem shorter and nights, longer; and clouds float overhead more frequently. Fiery orange leaves have replaced green ones, and most of those are on the ground, or in big piles, waiting to be bagged. The cheery chirping of birds is now drowned out by the rustling of leaves while a neighbor rakes. Why, the air even smells different! As the wind blows its chilly breath on me, I pick up the pace, as if winter were just on my heels. But then again, maybe it is!

     

     

     

    Let me know what you think!

     

  • Dear Chuck Norris:

     

    Dear Sensei,


    I am writing to you again because the world is, yet again, in need of your assistance. I thank you for your speediness in responding to my last letter regarding the elimination of one dangerous pedophile/singer referred to as Michael Thriller, son of Jack. You did a beautiful work, as always. But now, a threat promising to be greater has arisen. Although you have yet to deal with the “Twilight” problem, as I have faith that you will, this request may be of more importance. One “Justin Beiber” has now stepped into the limelight. There is a dark aura surrounding him, one that may be greater than he who was already mentioned, as this rising star has started young and has more time to develop his dark powers. I humbly suggest he be dealt with quickly and drastically, before his increasing power becomes too much. Once again, I thank you for being so wickedly amazing, a true superhero among mortals. This is simply a request for the saving of the world, and I’m sure we would all appreciate your help in this matter.

    Sincerely, your friend, biggest fan, and star protege,

    Aaron “Tigah”
       

  • Late Spring Cleaning

    I was just informed that yet another Xangan is leaving. Not because it was time to move on, or because they didn’t have enough time, but because they felt being on Xanga was pointless, that typing their innnermost thoughts and desires and pains and joys was a waste of time, because no one was there to care. They had turned to Xanga for help, help they had at one time received, but now, this help was nowhere to be found. They were let down. I took this personally. How? How did someone on my subscribers’ list come to believe that no one here cares? What could I have done to stop this from happening? Why wasn’t I there?

    It’s simple really. In my rising from unknown to slightly known Xangan, I have accumulated many friends. Most of which I randomly went to their site, and clicked on “send friend invite,” and “subscribe to.” I get so many notices in my inbox from these people, the ones that really need me, that post maybe once a week, get lost among the sea of others who post daily, recommend much, and pulse everything. The ones who depend upon a select few are hidden behind the ones who could care less. I’m not slamming Xangalebs. I’m not saying that everyone who has a lot of subscribers doesn’t matter. What I am saying is that the more they have, the less likely they care about my opinion. Dave could go without hearing my bit about his wardrobe. Dan probably doesn’t even know that I call him my study buddy everywhere I go. Dear Ricky is unaware of my existence. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying that these bloggers, and others as famous (or infamous) as them clog my inbox, crowding out those like the one that is leaving, the ones that not only care about my opinion, my thoughts, my advice; but they need it.

    So, I am cleaning out my subscribers’ list. To those who I subscribed to, but are distasteful and I don’t read you anyway, goodbye. To those who have above 1,000 subscribers, and I clicked that button just because everyone else did, congrats on your success, but you don’t need me. To those who haven’t gotten on in over a year, thanks for the waste of space. To those who ignore me, I’m done trying to be noticed by you because you seem cool to everyone else, obviously, you’re a douche, and not worth my time. To those who are successful and actually take the time to notice their audience, thank you, and I’m glad you make Xangalebs look good. To those who occasionally stop by with their bit, it really does mean something to me, and I try to return the favor (please let me know if I’m lacking). To my faithful few, don’t get your hopes up, I’m not even contemplating your spot on my list: I love you guys!

    If you want, you can let me know which of the above you think you are, but if you’re commenting, you’re not in any danger. If you find that I’ve unsubscribed, and you’re absolutely heartbroken, let me know, because if you realize I’ve done it, it was probably an accident anyway.

    It may be too late for one Xangan, but from now on, I’ll be here for those I’ve asked to be my friend, or I’ve agreed to be theirs. If you need anything; prayer, someone to talk to, a vent, anything, message me. If you really want, I’d be willing to give my number to you. You know that one reader you know you can depend on no matter what? I want to be him.

  • Sleepless Night

    I wrote this a few years ago. It was late, and I couldn’t sleep, so, like I do sometimes, I grabbed my notebook and a pencil, and started writing. This is what came of it.

     

    Silence.
    Darkness.
    Sleep?
    No, just the darkness playing tricks on me.
    And the radio between songs.
    It’s too early for sleep.
    Oh, I like this song.
    I’ve memorized it by now.
    I don’t understand why the DJs play the same songs
    And say the same things
    Every night.
    By now,I could be a DJ.
    Ha!
    Now there’s a funny thought:
    Me, a DJ!
    Whoa, there’s that feeling of deja vu
    Again.
    Time passes
    Slowly.
    Ugh! Will sleep ever come?
    Of course it will.
    Just not yet.
    I look out my window.
    I can see the full moon
    In the same spot as always.
    Isn’t the moon supposed to move across the sky?
    Oh well.
    Creeaakkk
    The door opens.
    She’s in the room now.
    I can hear her.
    Her silent breathing;
    Trying not to wake me up.
    She’s so sweet.
    Someday, I’m gonna marry her.
    She’s closer now.
    Just a few feet from the bed.
    I don’t want her to know I’m awake.
    So I just lay there,
    With my eyes closed.
    Waiting.
    Waiting for sleep.
    Ugh, I hate this song.
    But,sadly,I have this song memorized,too.
    A drop splashes on my cheek.
    It must be raining.
    Wait,
    I’m inside,
    How can I feel the rain?
    Oh,she’s crying.
    Leaning over me,
    Sobbing.
    I wonder why.
    I wish I could help.
    But I just lay there;
    Waiting.
    OW!
    Stupid mattress spring stabbed me!
    But…
    If I’m laying on my back…
    Why is the pain in my chest?
    It’s intense!
    I open my eyes.
    The moon lights up her face,
    As she leans over me
    Crying.
    I look down
    At my chest.
    There’s something sticking out of it.
    I feel cold.
    Darkness begins to surround me.
    I look at her.
    Our eyes meet.
    Her lips move,
    But I can’t make out what she’s saying.
    She’s moving away now.
    Towards the door.
    Leaving me.
    Why am I so cold?
    I put my hand to my chest.
    Feel the sharp edge.
    So cold.
    Darkness creeps closer.
    She’s almost out the door now.
    “Wait,” I try to say
    Try to stop her from leaving
    Ask her why I’m so cold.
    But all that comes out
    Is some sort of liquid.
    It tastes metallic.
    Like iron.
    Like…
    Realization dawns.
    But…
    Why?
    Creeeaaakk
    The last thing I see
    Is the door closing.
    Then…
    Nothing.
    I can’t feel the pain anymore.
    Just cold.
    And darkness
    Silence
    Sleep



    Silence
    Darkness
    Sleep?
    No, that comes later.
    Oh,I like this song.
    I have it memorized.
    Why do the DJs play the same songs
    Every night?
    By now, I could be a DJ!
    Now there’s a funny thought!
    Whoa,there’s that feeling of deja vu again.
    Crrreeeaaakkk
    She’s in the room.
    I can hear her quiet breathing
    Trying not to wake me up.
    She’s so sweet.
    I’m going to marry her someday.

     

     

     

    Let me know what you think.