March 7, 2011
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I’m Scared
I am scared.
Why?
Because on Friday, at 11:58 pm, I will be 18 years old.
Because within 3 months, I will be a high school graduate.
Because in 6 months, I will be a college student.
Because in at least 4 years, I will be starting my lifelong career.
Because most likely, in 5-7 years, I will be married.
Because for the past 5 years, I’ve slowly lost most of my friends due to distance, character changes, or some combination of the two.
Because the people who believe we are friends have no real understanding of the word, and really couldn’t care less.
Because a year from now, I probably won’t even be in touch with the two or three people I actually consider my friends.
Because I now doubt the plans I was once so sure of thanks to the uncertainty of others and their lack of confidence in my ability to make decisions and discern God’s will for my life.
Because maybe those people are right.
Because my trust in people has greatly faded over the years thanks to ones I believed cared for me.
Because my entire life is quickly and drastically changing, and there’s nothing I can do to stop. To even slow it down.
And it scares the heck outta me.
Comments (90)
The anticipation is always the worst.
Don’t be scared, life is life.
It’s scary. Make the most out of college. I made most of my friends there… then lost them. Be open to possibilities, is all I can say.
Don’t be afraid, it’s going to be ok. Whatever you’re planning for college now, you’ll probably change your mind about, maybe several times. Hold on to your dreams, don’t get in the habit of giving them up. No one can predict the future.
One day at a time, first things first, High School isn’t done yet – just keep focused on being a High School student. Don’t stop your visions but don’t overwhelm yourself.
Change is scary, but hey you’ll get through it when it’s time to do so.
Woahhhh, we are in the EXACT same situation. (Except my birthday is four days after yours)
Change is good. High school graduation is sad, but an amazing feeling. Being 18 is a kick ass age! College is not as scary as many make it sound, and if it helps, it will take a little more then 4 years to start your career! (In most cases, anyway) But don’t be scared, be happy for a new chapter! It’s exciting, trust me! I went through all this just one year ago, and looking back I think how silly it was for me to be scared!
@Queen_of_You188 - Second to the completion, then looking back and realizing you did the wrong thing.
@ItIsAllGravy - That’s what makes it scary. Life should be something else. Like chocolate chip cookies.
@stupid_systemus - Thanks for the advice. I’ll try to do that.
I had the same worries too when I was graduating HS. Heck, now I have a ton of things that I’m scared about and I’m about to graduate college: I’m scared that I may not find a job soon, I don’t know where I want to live, I hope I marry soon, blah blah blah.
*hug* You’ve got my wholehearted support and faith, my friend. I am sure that you will be very successful. You’re smart, modest, caring, and overall just a great person; you’ll make it far.
@Writing_the_Tides - I guess I’ve always thought the first impulse is the right one, then second thoughts clutter the mind with reasonings and such. Maybe that’s just me,though. Maybe this will all just serve to strengthen my descions.
@ctaretz - Thanks. At this time in life, it’s hard not to get caught up in the big picture.
@Roadlesstaken - I know I will, I just hope I get through it having made the right choices.
@xWaltzAlyssax - Wow! That’s odd…and comforting. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.
@stephx4 - Thanks. It’s nice to hear from someone who’s just come out on the other side of all this. Lately, it’s been hard to have an optimistic outlook on things. But I like the idea of it being a new chapter; starting yet another page in the book of my life.
@Cestovatelka - Thank you. That’s nice to hear. Though last time I heard, nice guys finish last…
@Like_A_Tigah - Exactly. Trust me, all will be good! And you will look back and laugh! I promise.
@stephx4 - If I don’t, can I sue?
@Like_A_Tigah - Hahaha, absolutely!
Welcome to life. It’s a lot more of this.
Aaron (and Alyssa)- You will do just fine, but take things in manageable steps. Those who go 100mph through life, usually don’t see the cliff’s edge until it is behind them. Do have a support network, both f&b and online. I have raised a young man who was right where you are, not long ago. He has found his path and is doing well. So can you.
Yes, it’s tempting to be scared, but no matter the circumstances, no matter what other people may have done, God’s love for you in Christ isn’t changing (see the end of Romans 8). Great is His faithfulness!
Isaiah 46:3 Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all the remnant of the house of Israel,
who have been borne by me from before your birth,
carried from the womb;
4 even to your old age I am he,
and to gray hairs I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
I will carry and will save.
It can be hectic but its life how ironic that cliche remark. have fun and just take it one day at time. Having a great support group works amazingly and you have us on xanga, i thnk you will do just fine
This kind of fear is wise. You sound so much like my daughter – who will be 17 on 3/8, which is in about 5 minutes here. You will sort it all out and come out better for it. The scary times are the ones that teach us the most and shape us into better people. I will pray for you!
Your fears are normal. But don’t rehearse the worst. Most of the time the worst never happens. Look forward to what is ahead! College was four of THE BEST years of my life! I look back on them with fondness and remember the fun, and all I learned!
As for the friends…I try to look at it this way…I try to maintain the friendships…but if people come and go, they were there for a reason. Remember the good times. And be grateful. There are new people to meet every day!
I will pray for you! You are gonna’ do great! Just take one day at a time and enjoy each day!
HUGS!
My greatest fear is that in 5-7 years, I won’t be married. And even moreso, in 7-20 years, I would be divorced again.
woah! now i think either you think too much, or i was not thinking when i was your age… i think it’s the latter… i never think much about anything, anyways…
all the best in growing up =)
And what would you do if you weren’t afraid? Go do that! Hugs and Happy Birthday!
ahh i felt EXACTLY like that the months leading up to my high school graduation. but it’s worked out fine so far!
Welcome to the real world, bro. Trust me , if you happen to shit in your pants, just change your underwears you will be fine.
Don’t be afraid!! My high school graduation was one of the best days of my life thus far. What comes after is so much bigger, more exciting, and gives you so much more freedom. You’ll meet people that get you and learn so many new and wonderful things. Embrace the future!! Best of luck to you.
Oh dear, your list there is a lot of what flashes through every high school senior’s mind. I remember when I was about to graduate in 2005 (ugggghhh I FEEL OLD). It was very scary, but the scariest part of it was change. College is unlike any scholarly experience you’ve had so far. The high school I went to actually provided a very easy transition for me, but the first thing I think you’ll notice and appreciate most is the incredible amount of freedom that isn’t present while you’re in high school. I hope to give you some more reassurances with the following:
- In high school I had a close knit group of about 10 friends. Almost 6 years later, we all still keep in touch with each other. In fact, I still talk to a lot of people I wasn’t that close with in high school. Trust me, you don’t need to talk every day to maintain the friendship you had for 4 (or more) years. It doesn’t disappear. It’s just that college is a lot harder and no one has time to chill like they did.
) Things work out.
- You will likely meet even more awesome friends in college who will have your back. You’ll have the same struggles, same groans, etc. It’s very bonding whether you’re dorming or living at home.
-I would really not stress the marriage front. Not when you’re YET to be 18. I’m almost 24 and I have no desire whatsoever to get settled down. School should be your focus and then start worrying about what you wanna do with your life once you land a career job.
- Don’t worry if you don’t know what you want to do. That’s why there’s a whole bunch of pre-requisites you need to take in college. A class will interest you and by the end of your sophomore year, you’ll have a clearer picture. That’s what happened to me. I went to a fashion business school and halfway through my sophomore year, I knew I wanted to do International Marketing
I know it seems really, really scary, but don’t let the fear consume you. Just try to enjoy the rest of your senior year because it’s the last time any older adult is going to treat you like a kid again (aside from your parents or siblings if you have the latter). In other words, don’t stress it and roll with the punches. Good luck little Tigah!
Ahhh, I remember those days.. seems like.. forever ago.
But I know that ultimately, you will be fine.
You just have to accept that some days, there will be fear and uncertainty and embrace it.. keep fighting for the things you want and believe in and let go of the rest…
live every moment to the best of your abilities, cause those moments won’t ever come back. Everything you are scare of will happen cause I felt the same way when I turned 18 but cherish those moments cause right now that is the best time in your life!
Jeremiah 29:11 is an encouraging verse. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Relax and enjoy your youth (spoken by a 73 year old.)
Nice guys get first place in my book
And remember – if you really want to escape - Israel………..
It’s natural to be afraid, so let allow yourself to feel that way. It’s normal to feel uneasy about that which we are not confident, allow yourself to doubt. However, do not let it consume you. No matter how you feel about any situation you are in, it will not change the fact that the situation is real and pertinent. If we take a step in the wrong direction, we cannot take a step back. We can try to gain a new perspective and figure out which is the next best step at that point. Progressively moving forward, exponetially gaining speed. You are in for a ride, and it’s natural to be afraid.
Your fears are normal
Everyone is scared when they start something new.
You’ll do fine!!
I feel scared too ):
The people who stick around are typically the ones worth keeping. With networking sites, its easy to keep in touch; Its up to you to keep that going.
What scared me the most, was moving out of my home. After that, everything was easy
omg! i can totally relate to this, tho i’m in 11th grade, and have a little more time left. anyway, i also feel like wanting to freeze life for a while, it does go by way fast. i agree with you regarding the choices and the uncertainties, but i do think i will keep my closest friends
xoxo
It is ok to be scared, and I still am myself. Thing is that it is easier to ignore later in life until you know your time is near. I am sorry I have no sage advice, but just don’t let it overwhelm you that is when you have gotten to the deep end of it. IT IS OK to be scared. that is my advice.
A lot of things can change in college–your major, the way you think, the way you feel, your point of view, etc. It is the shape of things to come, and the shape of who you will become. While it can be “scary”, it’s a destination that will define who you are, and you will love that person. You will probably find others that you will be life-long friends with in college and they will love you for you.
So, take a deep breath, and a big, brave step forward. The journey is worthwhile!
Every time you face one of these mountains/landmarks in your life~ you will gain confidence. Trust me, though the hills get higher, they aren’t nearly as scary.
You will rock this birthday.
Happy almost birthday
great adventures lie ahead.
embrace the future and look for friends
Don’t be scared, enjoy it and love every second. It’s the best time of your life! And when you get to Uni/College you will find so many people so similar to you and that’s when you realize what amazing friends are! Chin up
XXXO
I feel for you, today is my 18th birthday, everything in my life has changed over the past 6 months, I moved in with family i havent seen in 5 years, ive lost my friends that ive known since i was in elementary school. Although i wont be attending college for about another year, i am getting married in may. Its the most insane feeling in the world, growing up trying to get into the routine of becoming an adult, in a couple of weeks i will be starting my first fulltime job. I mean, I will live but to just imagine that this is practically the beginning of a new, unknown life is enough to kill. I wish you the best of luck hun.
I remember those feelings, I even have them now when there are huge changes. We all go through it. But we, most of the time, make it through. You’ll do fine. And a early happy birthday to you. :]
I was exactly the same as you when I turned 18. I was losing all my friends, after graduation my two closest friends at the time stopped talking to me completely and I felt totally lost. I was stepping into a world that was totally foreign and scary.
Three years later and I’m having the time of my life in university, have a couple of the greatest friends that will be with me for the rest of my life, have a great job and cannot wait to complete my degree so I can start actually working in my field. Not to mention I have the most amazing boyfriend who hopefully has a ring coming my way soon
Things have to change as we get older and it’s terrifying, but they can be so much fun too!
But you also hear that you meet your true best friends in college. And even now in my second year of school, my high school friends still visit me even though they not in the same state as me. And it’ll be another way for you to know whether they are your true friends or not. And if they aren’t, then you will make new friends in college. And if they are, all the better.
Don’t be scared about changes in life. And never give up your dreams because others may not believe in you. Believe in yourself.
Two bits of advice you can take or leave.
1.Don’t let people tell you what you can or can’t do.
2.The worst thing you can do is hold yourself back.
This is exactly how I felt when I turned 18 but I was afraid to admit it to myself. And I still feel this way sometimes. But you’re owning it and that’s amazing. You will continually go through a cycle of self-discovery, but that’s a good thing. And you’ll find people of like-minds and who will restore your faith in humanity.
We are all afraid to grow up and face life outside of what we are used to but it’s part of growing up and change isn’t a bad thing. Just take it easy and you’ll be fine as you journey through life.
This happened to me! You’ll be alright. You’ll live right through it.
Gack, I know how you feel, expect I’m a biiiit younger.
I feel like life is just moving like a train with no stops :S
It’s frightening.
xo’
Losing and gaining friends is normal, but dont be scared of losing them because if they truely are your friends they will an effort to stay in touch and to stay close with you, college is scary but then again so is high school , if you can go through high school you can make it through college… keep your head up
Take it one day at a time…easier said than done, I know. I’ve felt this way many, many times before but it’s good to have a healthy fear of the future. Turning 20 freaked me out, since I’m no longer a teenager. But you know what? It’s all ok in the end. You’ll find yourself doing things you never thought were possible and growing. It’s all a big adventure, but you have to live in the moment or you’ll miss it all!
Hey I know you dont know me but I’m here if you wanna talk, believe me theres crap in my life that scares me. To be honest posting an entry like this would scare me, because if i did that would entitle being honest with myself
hey…. some people have kids by your age.
At least you know what you want.. and have goals and ambition… and not the same desire of some to just “drift” in life.
The best advice I can offer you.. .is to admit your anxiety — like you are doing. Face each minute for what it is though. Today is Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Just approach each day, each moment, for what it is… and just make the next best decision you can, not looking back on the mistakes to hinder you — only to learn from them (and accept now that you WILL make mistakes, but know that not EVERYTHING you do will be a mistake)
It’s going to be okay.
Talk to others who have been in your shoes — last year’s grads, people who graduated 10 years ago, etc…See how they feel.. what they think… But know you will have your own experience… and there will be good and bad.
It’s all about how you live it.
You will be fine!
just go ahead (: Life is full of challenge .
Same here! Though being 18 isn’t so bad. It’s no differnt really… I’m still teh same, exept I have to remind myself that it’s ok if I look at porn. XD I’m legal! lol
Joking aside, I am really scared too. I’m still scrambling for scholarships and all that kinds of stuff. I know where I’m going at least and what I want to do, but it’s the money that’s worrying me…
And as for friends… I say if they aren’t good enough to stay with you and they aren’t supporting you, then they aren’t worth your time. “Those that mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
It’ll be alright in good time.
true a lot of things happen that you don’t expect, and some times you don’t want these changes.
but some times things surprise you and change for the better too!
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Just wait until you turn 20…that’s when the ish really starts to get real.
You are thinking way ahead love, stop freaking out and stay in the present. however, you will have the time of your life in college! oh goodness I loved my first year of college it was awesome!
All I can say is I’ve been there. It’s tough and a big change, but embrace it. So many more exciting things are waiting for you after high school-it’s true, being grown up isn’t [always] half as fun as growing up, but we’re not grown up yet
Good luck.
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Take everyday as a blessing and really enjoy your time. Carry a camera and record each and every moment so that when you’re past those moments you once considered “scary”, you can look back and laugh.
DON’T PLAN YOUR LIFE. IT’S NEVER GOING TO GO THE WAY YOU THINK IT IS.
By the way, you can change the future and fix a number of the things on your list.
You will be fine. Life is coming if you like it or not.
Dude im 27 in 48 hours cry me a river lol
live in the moment
Don’t be concerned. Sounds like typical teenage angst to me. I remember mine. Now that I have one foot in the grave, it seems to be lessening.
don’t sweat it, life fluctuates but some things will remain stable…and which ones do may shock you. i was in your spot 3 years ago, and all i can tell you is keep a long term goal in mind and work step by step to achieve it. also make sure you’re having fun, cuz these years go fast.
@VeritatisAmans - Hopefully I’ll get used to it.
@cyberbear - Thanks for the encouragement. Hopefully I will see the edge long before I reach it.
@naphtali_deer - Thank you. I also try to remember the comfort Psalm 23 gives. Sometimes I feel like a sheep, so unsure and just wandering, but the Lord is leading me to where He wants me to be.
@boyhnc - Thank you, I will try to just focus on today, and leave tomorrow for tomorrow.
@mtngirlsouth - Thanks. All things are for a purpose, right? Your prayers are appreciated.
@adamswomanlost - Thanks for reminding me to be optimistic. It’s sorta against my nature. I’ll try to remember that, about friends. But it can be tough if they leave abruptly, or change into someone you know longer want to be friends with.
@llamalima - …I’m sorry. That makes my fears seem less important.
@maniacsicko - Lol. I do tend to overthink.
@Jaynebug - The same thing I’m doing now, I guess. Thank you!
@zhen1827 - Bearded Dragon foods, huh? Exciting…
Opps I said divorced again. I’ve never been married, nor in a serious relationship. =P
@Like_A_Tigah - I agree. That can be VERY tough. Sadly it’s something we deal with our whole lives. I’ve been dealing with it myself lately. HUGS!
@sophia - Haha, glad to hear.
@The_Eyes_Of_A_Painter - Priceless advice. I will remember that.
@mizz_chan - I hope you are right. Thanks for the encouragement!
@SpAnKyLiCiOuS - Thank you so much. Things sorta piled up and clouded my perspective. I’ll try to keep track of the smaller picture now and enjoy high school while I still can. Thanks again!
@liveandunplugged - Thank you! I will try to remember that.
@DDBoy06 - Thanks. One day at a time, right?
@ata_grandma - Thank you very much. That definitely is encouraging!
@Cestovatelka - Lol! Definitely!
@ruined_tears - This was a very insightful comment. Thank you. Thinking of it as a ride makes sense: like the scared feeling one gets when they’re about to try out a new ride they’ve never been on. I guess that’s what I’m doing.
@Like_A_Tigah - Psalm 23 is wonderful! He is our GOOD Shepherd, even when things may not SEEM to look good to us at the current time! (Note to self!)
@B0SSY18 - Thank you. I hope you’re right.
@nad_nuts - Maybe we should start a group. We recruit more scared people and have group outings like a campfire or a trip to Disney World. That would help me, anyway.
@wolvenchic - Very true.
@Milu94 - They should give us juniors and seniors a time-stopping button. It would help so much!
@William_McGonagall - Your advice is greatly appreciated. I will remember it.
@MEluvCH - Thank you. That is encouraging.
@WildWomanOfTheWest - Lol! I’ve already got an early present of over 70 comments and a bried spot on Top Blogs. How very…unexpected. Thanks for the encouragement!
@ugotafriend - Thank you! I will.
@paperhearts_and_brokenplanes - Thank you. That’s what a friend of mine in college told me too. I’ll take both of your words for it.
Also, I love your username.
@lil_hood_thing - Yeah it’s crazy. It looks like most people make it out alive, so I have a feeling we will, too.
@StrawberrySunrises - Thank you!
@colloquiality - It must be true what they say: things will get worse before they get better. At least, I hope so.
@x_onholiday - That is true. Thanks!
@truecrimebuff - I’ll try not to. Thank you!
@theloniusmarx - Thanks. I’ll take them! I need all the advice I can get.
@TheInappropriateSkirt - I guess that’s why I posted this. I wanted to get it in the open, so I wouldn’t hide from my fears, feeding it. Thank you All these comments already helps restore it.
@mixedwithlove - @boricua_chic_2008 - Thank you!
@Jewelbeetle -Thanks!
@preskinny - Yeah, they should make these things with an emergency brake somewhere!
@NeverEndingRoad67 - Thank you for the encouragement, and the advice!
@beautifulchaos2 - Thanks for the advice. I not to good at the living in the moment thing, but I’m workin’ on it.
@His_Love_Is_Abstract_ART - I didn’t plan on posting this. But I started typing, and that’s what came out. Sometimes, the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.
@Ezekiel36_33to36 - That is very true. Thank you for the helpful advice. It reminds me of a quote that went something like “mistakes are just stepping stones on the path to success.”
@destinationmoderation - I hope so,
@fabolousclown - I just hope it’s not as challenging as it seems.
@LaceX_Foxypowow - Lol! Dr. Suess was a wacko, but he does have good advice. Lol
@inmy_tree - Let’s hope for the second one!
@mixedwithlove - Heh, can’t wait.
@Hai Ly - Lol. I wasn’t freaking out. Just being honest.
@asian_oops - Lol. Thank you!
@WrecklessAbandon13 - That is good advice! I know one day I will laugh about it, but that doesn’t stop the feelings lol.
@Escargotpudding - Some plan is better than no plan, is it not?
@Uladh - I know.
@Jeremy_Sheer - Well Happy Birthday! lol
@vanillaandcarrots - I will try! lol
@Sir_Sparrow - I know I’ll be fine, but that doesn’t entirely keep me from being anxious.
@avescorpio - I will. Thanks for the advice.
@Like_A_Tigah - btw.. Happy earlier Birthday (: *sends you a gift*
@llamalima - Well, that makes it seem a little less fearsome. But still, I guess we all have fears. I just need to focus on something else.
@adamswomanlost - Well, I’m glad you’re still around. After you decided not to be included in the Xeries, I was afraid you would be leaving.
@fabolousclown - Thank you!
@Like_A_Tigah - you’re most welcome
@Like_A_Tigah - I almost did leave. I’m gonna’ hang in and see how it goes. I can only be on here a few days a week…a few hours those days…so we’ll see. Life is just really busy and stressful right now.
HUGS to you!
@Like_A_Tigah - Happy Birthday. Breathe deep and let the year unfold. (pats heart and points to you)
PS. Hope these brighten up your screen.
@Jaynebug - It very much does, thank you. =)