March 12, 2011

• Morning

   

  I’m tired. So very tired. How I long to dismount and collapse into the soft, green meadow on the side of the road. I’m sure my steed would enjoy that, too. But I won’t.

  I can’t.

  Something much stronger than Fatigue and Weariness combined drives me.

  It drives me out of the safety and comfort of my castle. It drives me out from behind my status of nobility and forces me to take up the sword. It drives me past the borders of the only realm I’ve ever known. Drives me to a tall, unconquerable fortress where lurk creatures the likes of which I’ve never seen; to a battle, a final showdown, with a great evil, which will assuredly end in my death.

  What force, what power, in the heavens or on earth, could drive a man to such extremes, besides insanity?

  Love. Though as I’ve discovered, it is very close to insanity. In fact, they are one and the same.

  The beautiful, lush meadow abruptly turns into a dreary and dead skeleton of a forest. It stinks of death. Crows loudly protest my arrival, cawing as they flutter from one dead branch to the next. Or perhaps they are warning me, pleading with me to turn back. Whichever, they do not impede my progress, and therefore are ignored.

  Suddenly, the path curves. As I round the corner, I pull hard on the reins, stopping my obedient horse. There, rising from the dense fog surrounding it, looms the black, impenetrable fortress. My final destination. A chill racks my body as I scan the impressive castle; a large staircase leads up to the massive doors. Above that, the building rises three or four floors before diverging into an extremely tall tower. I cannot even see the top, either due to its height, or the fog. Perhaps both.

  I dismount and loosely tie my horse to a nearby tree. Loosely, because I want him to be there if, by some miracle, I return. And also, I want him to be able to escape when I do not. I approach the staircase, and the massive iron doors open by themselves, bidding me to enter. I take a deep breath, and walk through.

  I was…unsure of what I would find. I had imagined a horde of evil creatures only heard of in folklore attacking me, then if I had impossibly survived, I would have to climb for hours the winding staircase to the top of the tower, where I would battle the vile creature to the death, praying that as the demon was distracted, my love would have the chance to escape.

  Instead, as I step over the threshold, I find myself in a large, sparsely furnished room, mostly white. On the other end of this room stands both the reasons of my coming here: in a steel, cylinder cage is the love of my life, her eyes now brimming with tears of fear and hope, and the evil, jealous duke who kidnapped her. He smiles menacingly. “You shouldn’t have come. You cannot fathom my power. I will destroy you!”

  I summon my courage and draw my blade. “I did not come all this way to talk. Let us settle this now.”

  He laughs. A bone-chilling, echoing laugh. “Fine,” he smiles,”have it your way.”

  Suddenly, the room is filed with a bright light, and a tremendous roar shakes the ground. I peer through the light and see a growing shadow. Within seconds, where the evil duke once stood, a giant dragon now stands, its green scales shining, and it’s mouth glowing like the embers of a fire.

  I wish I could tell you what happened then, but I myself do not know. Suddenly, I was leaping, slashing, dodging, ducking, and then…it was over. My blade was buried in the massive creature’s chest, which heaved no more. I rush to the cage a break the lock, releasing the lady I risked my life for. It would have been worth it. She falls into my arms unconscious, no doubt tired and weary from the horrors she must have endured. I carry her in my arms out of the building. When I walk outside, it’s like a curse was lifted: gone were the dead, rotting trees, the ominous fog, the stench of death. I found myself surrounded by a beautiful forest, full of vibrant life.  I mount my trusty steed, the love of my life, still fainted, seated in front of me, and begin my journey homeward. I start thinking about what life will be like, how happy (and safe) we will be together. Visions of me taking the place of my father when he has passed, chasing my young ones around the castle, my love smiling as she looks on. Everything would be perfect…

  Suddenly, a tremendous noise shakes the entire earth. It is high-pitched, repetitive, and extremely annoying. I’ve heard it before! It’s not good! It threatens to take everything away! No! I must fight it. But, how do you fight something you are powerless to stop?

  …

  I open one eye. Then the other. Then I sigh and turn off the alarm. The feelings I still had from the dream, the joy, the excitement, the love, quickly dissipate. I am sorry, Dreams. I must go back to reality. But I will return again tonight. Perhaps we can pick up where we left off. Perhaps I can have the whole night to feel happiness, instead of the few, fleeting moments before I wake in the morning. And one day, I won’t need to wish for you to come, my cherished Dreams, to feel happy. One day, I will have it without you.

  Until then, sometimes I wish I could live there, and dream about here, though here is hardly a dream. So…maybe I wouldn’t dream…

   But that poses an interesting question: Is it better to dream of happiness, presently having none but knowing one day you shall, or to finally have happiness, but never dream at all?

   

  • 9:51 pm
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