May 25, 2011

• The Purple Piece of Paper

  I figured I’d take a break from my dreary mood as of late, and give you one of my most told jokes ever.
  Behold
  The Purple Piece of Paper

  One day, a young boy was in school, when the teacher announced they were going to do a project, and they got to pick the color of construction paper they wanted. When it got to the boy’s turn, he told the teacher, “I want a purple piece of paper.”
  “What!?” the teacher demanded.
  “I want a purple piece of paper,” he replied.
  “That’s it! Go to the principal’s office!” she yelled.
  So the boy went to the principal’s office. When he was called in, the boy told the principal the whole story, then said, “Sir, I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “What!?” he demanded.
  “I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “That’s it!! You’re expelled! Never come to my school again!”
  And so the boy went home. When he walked in the door, his mother was in the kitchen making lunch. “You’re home early, honey. What’s wrong?”
  So he told her the whole story, then said, “Mom, I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “What!?” she demanded.
  “I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “That’s it!! Get out of my house: you are no longer my son!”
  And so he roamed the streets til nightfall, then found a cozy bench and fell asleep. Soon, a patrolling police officer found him and woke him up. “You’re awfully young to be sleeping on the streets. Why are you here?” he asked the boy. So he told the policeman the whole story, then said, “Officer, “I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “What!?” he demanded.
  “I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “That’s it!! You’re under arrest!”
  And so the boy was thrown in jail. Soon, it was time for his trial. When the judge presiding over the case saw the age of the boy, he was taken aback. “Son, you’re facing some serious charges. What do you have to say in your defense?”
  So he told the judge the whole story, then said, ” Your Honor, I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “What!?” the judge demanded.
  “I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  With a bang of his gavel, the judge roared,”That’s it!! Thirty years to life!!!”
  And so the boy found himself in prison. That night, when the guard was making his rounds, he saw the boy in his cell. “Hey kid, it says here you got 30 to life! What’d you do?”
  So the boy told him the whole story, then said, “”I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “What!?” the guard demanded.
  “I just wanted a purple piece of paper.”
  “That’s it! Solitary confinement!!” the guard yelled.
  And so the boy was thrown into solitary confinement.
  30 years later, he’s released for good behavior. 10 years after that, he’s one of the most successful businessman in the world, having lunch with his secretary on the 42nd story of his skyscraper.
  “You know, sir, you’ve never told me much about your childhood,” the secretary said.
  “Well, I didn’t really have much of one,” he told her. Then told he the entire story. “And to think,” he said, “all I wanted was a purple piece of paper.”
  “What!?” his secretary screamed, then jumped up, ran down the entire 42 flights of stairs, and out into the street, then got hit by a bus.

  The moral of this story is to look both ways before you cross the street.

  • 8:18 pm
  • 9 Comments