May 28, 2011
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Assisted Xangan Suicide (Edited)
ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP!Yeah, you. I’m talkin’ to you, right there, on the other side of this screen!
You’re in one of three categories: you have no idea what I’m talking about; you know exactly what I’m talking about; or somewhere in between. This post applies for all of them. So continue reading.
I’m sick and tired of all these people leaving due to “drama.” Now, I’ve made my stand on drama clear before: I can handle it, and in most cases, find it entertaining. It can be fun to watch two or more people going back and forth over something that is usually insignificant. It’s like watching a good sitcom. That comes from part of my cynical and sarcastic side.
That being said, I do not purposefully start drama with intent to cause pain. I’ve only taken place in drama for three reasons: 1) for fun, in which the other person was in on it: 2) defending myself, because the other person started it in the first place; 3) they messed with one of my friends.
We’re going to focus on that last one.
See, some people around here have been causing drama. Not the stupid drama that we usually roll our eyes at, but the serious-troll kind, the kind that is causing friends of mine, good people, to close down their sites, or to “take a break.” (How many people that take breaks ever come back? Not too many.) And I don’t like that. By messing with them, this person has now stepped in reason number 3, and a big, steaming pile of Tigah poo.
I’m sick of sitting idly by while good people feel the need to end their Xangan lives, or slit their time on Xanga down-the-road style. I’m sick of uncaring, inhuman, idiotic jerks carelessly spewing their “drama” acid all over the place while they claw their untalented, deadbeat self up the Xangan ladder of success, leaving the blog-corpses of good, purposeful, talented people laying in their wake. We call this place,”The Xangan Community:” well it’s about time we start acting like it, myself included.
From now on, if you, yes you (so long as you’re not the person I’m after) feel threatened, stressed, saddened, etc, come talk to me. Don’t punish the rest of us with your absence just because of one person. Even if it’s not from drama on Xanga, the same still applies. I’m here for you; I take that word “friend” pretty seriously.
My rant is done. It may be too late for some, but hopefully we can save the virtual lives of others in the future.EDIT: Ok, I scrapped the whole group thing, that obviously wasn’t a good idea. I never said it was. But I don’t see anyone else trying to do anything. I’m just tired of losing good bloggers to pointless crap. I can’t be the only one feeling like this. If you have any ideas, I honestly would like to hear it.
Comments (37)
So paisan since you are in the Mafia. When these drama trolls start creating negative vibes how does the Mafia make them stop ? Making them an offer they can’t refuse ?
This is so stupid. Internet drama is so fake and dumb because it can easily be avoided by ignoring the person. If someone sends you a nasty message or responds in a nasty way to your comment or post ignore them, it’s not that hard.
if someone leave bad coment i deleat it i also have shout down some site on her whate thead have on ther site was ealeage and should neave be alow at all
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@theflowerstem - Oh thank God you came along with such sage wisdom. I almost started to believe things on the Internet could hurt people. Guess those people who committed suicide after being bullied online were just on their way out and used the net as an excuse.
@RazielV - Well first of all this post has to do with creating and avoiding drama not commiting suicide, so my repsonse was appropriate for the post. Secondly people that commit suicide already have a poor mental state to begin with that is NOT brought on by bulling, bullying just gives them an excuse to go ahead and end their lives.
Are you serious?
@theflowerstem - Do the world a favour: never give advice to anyone, or become a grief counselor. You have a poor and ill-educated attitude that is exactly why people end up dead. Thoughtless braggarting and lack of compassion, understanding, or support for people who need it. Everything Dan is trying to get us to avoid in this post contributes to the numerous people leaving and/or doing harm to themselves. People are bullied by the drama-whores and trolls, whether you accept it or not. Fact, not opinion.
The only thing more appalling than your lack of compassion is your gross ignorance of basic human psychology and facts about being bullied, on and offline.
@RazielV - I’m not the reason why people with poor mental health end up dead. I have compassion for people, but when they start complaining about internet drama, I just have to stop them and say, DON’T TURN ON THE COMPUTER! Give it a few days to blow over, block those people, etc. That advice works for those that use it.
@theflowerstem - I’ll be sure to pass on that golden egg of wisdom to the next person being stalked online. And to Megan Meier’s parents. I’m sure that will be of great comfort to them. Mental illness is NOT a common factor in cases of online bullying suicides. Seeking friendship is not an illness, nor is trusting someone. Neither is looking for romance or even sharing photos. Yet all of these are used against victims by bullies, yet you turn the blame on the victim? Shame on you for being so uneducated and callous
I totally ignore / block the person if he / she makes a comment that is not kind or of a classy nature. I don’t have time in my life for xanga dramas.
…won’t that just start more drama?
I agree that we should have each others’ backs but I’m not so sure about ganging up to keep unpleasantness at bay. Even the most well intentioned gangs have a habit of getting out of control.
@theflowerstem - I eagerly await your next gleam of insight into the simple workings of the human mind and your brilliant advice. I’m sure you’ll just stun me.
@RazielV - I’m not uneducated because I haven’t taken a victimized stand point. Someone that kills themselves IS mentally ill in some way. Look here: http://www.stopasuicide.org/suicide.aspx
What’s the difference between your mafia and another troll mafia? All you’ve done is start gang warfare.
@theflowerstem - I agree. People need to quit whining and take positive action. Whining is like blood in the water to bullies.
Everyone gets bullied at one time or another. But only the mentally ill take drastic action against themselves because of it.
@theflowerstem - 100% of studies have shown that anyone who claims a large percentage of “studies” support their position without posting links to the actual studies in question are more than likely made up. After all, having no facts means you’re 0% likely to be correct.
I would know what I’m talking about having actually STUDIED psychology, not randomly linked to a website and said, “olook i rite!”
@LoBornlytesThoughtPalace - Mother my children. NOW!
@RazielV - 100% of studies have shown that anyone who claims a large percentage of “studies” support their position without posting links to the actual studies in question are more than likely made up Where did I say that a large percentage of studies backed up my claim? That was one example for you, you can go look for others if you don’t take mine seriously; even though it’s from a reputiable site.
I would know what I’m talking about having actually STUDIED psychology, not randomly linked to a website and said, “olook i rite!” Not one of your replies has led me to believe that you have studied psychology. If anything you just sound like a smart mouth ignoramous.
@The_Eyes_Of_A_Painter - lol. That could work…
@theflowerstem - Hey, I agree with you. That’s exactly what I’d do. But people I enjoyed reading and having as a friend on here didn’t do that, and they ended up leaving. I just want to try to prevent that from happening to more people. I welcome any other ideas.
@dmcx2010 - I delete them too. It’s a shame how mean people can be.
@embrown88 - Like I said, I don’t see anybody else doing anything, so I figured why not? Got any better ideas? Seriously.
@ZSA_MD - So do I. Like I said, this isn’t for me, I can handle drama. But obviously other people can’t, and want to leave. And I just want to try to stop that from happening.
@JustPlainMorgie - That’s not really what I’m going for. The name’s just cuz it sounds cool, the purpose is more like being there for other people, talking them out of leaving.
@tsh44 – I realized that was how I kinda came off as, so I further explained. You stopped by at a good time lol. It’s good to see you.
@LoBornlytesThoughtPalace - Like I told someone else, I realized that’s how I came off, but that’s not what I’m going for here. Tis edited.
When that happens to me I just get off the computer for awhile to emotionally cool down. I was being stalked by my husband’s ex and I’ve had some trolls come by my site and say incredibly cruel things when I was in a bad place mentally. But that’s where the cooling down…unplugging for a bit, comes in and helps. It’s just the internet. You can’t let yourself get too wrapped up in it. Unfortunately, some people get really hurt because they care maybe too much… I’ve been really sad to see a lot of better bloggers leave.
I’ll tell ya wheneva I hav a problem <’:
Thanks for being supportive and this is a great post. I completely agree. If I have any ideas you will be the first to know.
You sound like an amazing person!
@RazielV - LMFAO
I think that the best thing we can do is step up when we see someone getting picked on. I mean even someone we don’t care much for might need an encouraging word if they’re being picked on. You meant well, and the idea of gathering a possie to wipe out the evil-doers is a way of saying we’re not gonna take it anymore. I know I hurt someones feelings by ignoring a nasty comment another blogger made about them, instead of responding to it. I wish I’d responded to it then, and I’m being more careful to voice my thoughts now even if I know they may not always get listened to. I guess my idea is that individually we step in if we need to, or if we should so that good bloggers don’t feel like no one is there for them.
@theflowerstem - That would be my advice. If they are saying mean things to you and you don’t like it, block them.
I haven’t been on here too long so maybe I haven’t come across any serious troll drama. Would you care to give me an example of a “drama” so bad that people feel the need to leave xanga?For what reason are people being picked on? Their opinions? Their looks?
I have to agree with the last statement.
I agree with your post, and the ideals behind it. I left xanga because of the crapstorm people put others through for having an opinion. I would consider coming back if a few of the top bloggers left, but as it stands I am just going to read and comment anonymously.
I’ve been blogging for some years now (not here but at another site… I’m new at Xanga) and there will ALWAYS be drama at times. I have known many bloggers who deleted their blogs because it just got too much…. and those trolls are such a pest! Yes, you can block, yes, you can delete. But it takes so much of the fun out of blogging. :
@theflowerstem – I agree that the block button is not that hard to find. After the initial spiteful comment, click it, and this “internet bullying” goes no further.
@firetyger - I guess there’s a line that some people cross when hitting the sign out button doesn’t make the problems go away. I’ve never experienced that and hope I never do.
@fabolousclown - Good.
@xxcjs_babyxx - Thank you. Due to a few of the first comments, I was beginning to believe this post was a bad idea. Thanks for the support.
@pinktiger335 - Lol, thank you. I’d like to think I can be sometimes.
@tsh44 - That’s exactly what I was getting at. Individually, Xangans should be more prone to defend good bloggers than to ignore it. And bear in mind that they will reap what they sow: if the tables were turned, they would want someone in their corner, so they should be in the corners of others.
@Jewelbeetle - Honestly, neither have I. I’ve posted several blogs asking for examples, and never have seen anything worth leaving Xanga over. But even though I’ve never seen it, I have seen plenty of good bloggers leave over so-called drama, so it must exist.
@hesacontradiction - Glad to hear it!
@Incarnate_Emotion - I’m glad you stopped by. Is it possible just to ignore the ones that cause the drama? Are there enough decent bloggers here to deal with the few bad? I may not know who you are, but I can promise you at least one person was, and still is, upset that you left. Wouldn’t that one person be worth it? I’m not trying to judge, I just know no one would be able to force me off of Xanga because there is at least one person who, for some reason, looks forward to reading what I write. That’s worth a lot to me.
@Hummingbird1950 - I agree. But if it came to it, it seems blocking/ignoring would be far better than leaving altogether.
?